An Eternity vs A Moment
by legendaryhuntress
Summary: He wasn't sure if all the pain would ever fade away, but if he's going to be hurt anyway, might as well be happy with someone he loves while he's at it. - Nico. Yes, yaoi. One-shot.


**An Eternity vs A Moment**

A Heroes of Olympus fanfic

From the top of the towering pine tree somewhere in the woods, Camp Half-Blood looked like a perfect picture for Hallmark Christmas cards. At least, for demigods. Every surface of every structure, the cabins, the Big House, whatever else, were covered with a fine layer of snow, just enough for the aesthetics. Apparently the crazy blizzard of New York couldn't make it into the Camp's magic boarders to bury it just like the rest of the state. Magical Christmas lights, without the fire hazards of mortal circuitry, made the wintery scene warm as they twinkled like lines and lines of fireflies. A huge Christmas tree stood in the middle of the cabins, decorated with a mess of each cabin's personal touches – battle axes, wrenches, novels, gardening apparatus, stolen goods, they hung over the branches that glittered with multi-colored magical lights. A bunch of hormonal teens kissed under the mistletoe, which just made Nico di Angelo flinch and get more annoyed.

He knew he didn't belong down there. He'd just ruin a perfect picture of a perfect Christmas with his gloom and doom, and nobody likes gloom and doom during Christmas. Heck, even during Halloween the son of Hades wasn't all that popular.

He's drummed into his senses a long time ago that he's better off on his own. Whatever sense of belonging he's always ached for, he managed to drown down. Eventually, he turned numb, like his pale skin against the harsh winter breeze.

But then why, does everything still hurt?

His sharp eyes darted towards Half-Blood, an instinctual impulse, on two teenagers hand-in-hand. The sparkle on their eyes could've outmatched the lights, the smiles on their faces a million watts. His inside constricted a little less than before, his heart a little less throbbing.

It didn't hurt that they – Percy and Annabeth, were still together. He doesn't care about that now, at least not after he met.. well, that doesn't matter, Nico pushed those thoughts aside.

What really hurt was the fact the he could never be like that to anyone.

Okay, fine. Maybe deep down inside, he never gave up on the tiny flickering flame of hope, even amidst December winds. Maybe he still craved for someone who'd fully accept him for who he is, besides his dead sister Bianca. Jason's efforts were appreciated, but he still felt uneasy around it, and Hazel was well, from a different era, like him. He knows what people thought of his sort back then.

But then again, why do people's opinions have to matter, if he was bent on the rest of his life alone? No one would know what he did, no one would care. He could sing the opera while balancing on a knife without anyone ever finding out. The magic of solitude. That makes him free to do whatever he wants, _be_ with whoever he wants.

Annoyingly, the inevitable flashback of the morning's events came invading his brain.

"_Why are you so afraid, Nico?" the clueless, rash and annoyingly handsome teenager yelled, but his voice sounded like it was about to be frozen over. "Why does everyone's approval matter to you so much when you don't even want to be with them anyways?"_

_His words stung. He could feel it like needle points, even though he didn't meet his eyes. He hated to admit it, but he was right._

"_The reason you don't have the guts to be with me is because you're still hoping they'll let you in," the teenager's voice grew icy, "that they'll _accept_ you."_

_Nico's breathing turned shallow. His eyes dropped to the pure white snow._

"_You're afraid."_

_The silence that followed was like the ache after you cut yourself; it throbbed, and was even worse. Nico was careful not to let the tears seep out. They'd freeze from the dropping temperature._

"_You don't understand," Nico's voice broke partly from the cold, partly from the pain, "you don't understand anything."_

"_I do understand. I understand perfectly well. You love me. And I love you."_

_When he grabbed his hand, Nico felt electricity surge like it was conducted by ice. "Please don't be afraid."_

"_I just – I cant."_

"_But I'm leaving. If.. if you choose not to be with me, I might never come back. We may never see each other again."_

"_Goodbye," Nico said, with a finality of the moment, his heart freezing over. He drops the hand, and walks away, the harsh winds blowing his footprints away, as if to say that he doesn't want to be followed. Because he _doesn't_._

He tried, tried incredibly hard to push the thought away. To push the thought that, however annoying the guy was, he was right. He was afraid. But he was also afraid of the eternity he'd spend hiding, if he never gathered to courage to fess up. Maybe the thought of that eternity was scarier, than a short moment taunts and disgusted looks.

Maybe the pang of people's dirty looks would fade away, but the pang of forever locking himself up was definitely forever. He didn't know this to be true, but he stood from the top branch he'd spent hours brooding over, and gathered all his strength. Immigration to Asia was not match for shadow travel.

He wasn't sure if all the pain would ever fade away, but if he's going to be hurt anyway, might as well be happy with someone he loves while he's at it.

_Hope you guy_s _liked it. If you did, why not follow me on tumblr_: .com _I support Nico all the way, by the way. But that doesn't mean I've changed my mind about my OTP – for reading!_


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